Grief is grounding

Not the kind of groundedness you asked for

But the kind of anchored alchemy that comes

Through the bend in the branches

Across oceans of love

From unexpected directions

Inner longings

For what was and what will never be

Screaming at you under the sea

Of sadness 

It’s grounding the way that water is heavier than your body

And you can stay afloat

Until you no longer can

After the drowning comes the shore

That your current eyes will not get to see

But the sea gives you inner vision

That never before has touched your outlook

Grief shows you worlds you’ve never dreamed of 

It’s the kind of dream that keeps you awake

You’ve never been more present 

Than you are in the heavy coffin of your loss

Fuck the coffin!

Toss it – you need it not!

Naked in the soil you break

And other places in your life make you wander

In the direction of inspiration

Not the kind that makes you hop

Like bunnies in the spring of youth

But the awe and wonder of an aging roar

The kind that stores in it something not yet known

Secret and hidden in the tears of what is gone

A breath of fresh new oldness

And a longing for what’s nevermore

Grief is heavy

Soaked in wisdom that you didn’t want

The wetness of this turbulence spits in your face

Your heart feels more 

It has never felt more love

And you are tired

Rewired by this heavy storm

Grief makes you wonder if it was worth it to be born

And yet this feeling awakens you to more than what meets the eye

A secret growth beneath the surface 

Something in you had to die

For this new configuration of your soma and your soul

In the darkness beneath the surface of your soil